You Know What To Do. Here’s How To Gain Confidence In Your Own Parenting

Being a mom is hard these days. Gain confidence with these Top 10 keys to fighting comparison, eliminating negativity and being your best self! Plus get access to the “5 Days to Positive Thinking” email challenge. Click this button to learn more:

This is the seventh post in the New Mom Encouragement Series! Be sure to check out the other posts below!

Being a mom these days is way beyond wearing all the hats.

It’s like all the hats plus being a live-in butler and maid to the small people, but never getting any feedback from your fellow “butlers and maid” friends who have similar jobs down the street.

No feedback, no comparison, no “am I doing this right?” assessments by watching your mom friends get their own kids to sleep through the night or get out the door in less than 10 minutes.

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A lack of comparison is good, right?

It can be, but where are you getting your confidence from now? Is your sense of self feeling strong, or just left confused now about how to switch from swaddle to sleep sack, and is he ready to start solids, and if so which type…?

OR maybe you’re getting all your advice and affirmation on Facebook or the Insta.

Wherever you’re getting it, we spend so much time giving, serving, loving and taking care of others, it’s hard to know if we’re doing enough or doing it right.

It can be discouraging when we feel like we don’t measure up or we’re failing our families somehow, even though we love them with every ounce of our being, through every late night feed and every extra mile we go for them.

We are our own worst critic and we often fall into comparison with other moms who seem like they’re doing it “better.”

Today I want to encourage you that you are ENOUGH. You can learn to be confident in your mom skills and stop the comparison. You don’t have to be like anyone else.

God created you to be YOU.

Today I want to encourage you that you are ENOUGH. You can learn to be confident in your mom skills and stop the comparison. You don’t have to be like anyone else. God created you to be YOU. #gainconfidence #youareenough #beyou Share on X

The Top 10 Ways To Gain Confidence In Your Own Parenting

Here are the best ways to gain confidence so you can parent within your own personality, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and feel confident in who you are as a mom!

1- Stop Comparison

Be the best YOU you can be, not the best someone else.

You were made to be you. If another mom does it differently, so be it. If you think she does it better, does that even matter? Just do YOUR best.

We are all in this together. I recently sifted through some false ideas that made me think I wasn’t a good mother. It’s easy to think everyone else is rocking it and you’re the only one stumbling through motherhood.

But that’s not true.

We’re all stumbling in our own ways. So we can learn from other moms, but put your blinders on when what they’re doing starts making your feel less-than.

2- Tune Out Hurtful, False, and Negative Voices

Speaking of blinders, we might also need ear plugs. Ask yourself:

Who or what are you listening to? Who are you letting have power over you?

We get so many negative messages into our minds, we have to take care to tune them out. If you want to level up with this, be sure to check out my free “5 Days To Positive Thinking” email challenge. Click this button to learn more:

3- Gain Confidence When You Forgive Others

When we don’t forgive others, we are giving them power over us.

We allow their actions to continue to wound us over and over in our minds because we won’t release it to God.

But the person who hurt you can’t go back and undo it. Even if they apologize, repair things as much as they can, give you money, or anything else, they can’t go back in time and make it “un-happen.”

Forgiving means canceling the debt they owe you. They can’t repay you, so release them from owing you– i.e. forgive them– and allow God to redeem your situation.

He can bring so much peace, love, and beauty back into our lives when we let go!

4- Forgive Yourself For Your Mistakes

Just as we need to forgive others, we need to forgive ourselves.

As mentioned above, we can’t undo the past. We can make amends as much as possible, but only God can redeem and bring beauty from the ashes of our failures.

He forgives us, so we need to forgive ourselves as well.

5- Find a Tribe That Builds Your Self-Confidence

A community of friends is life-giving and brings confidence as we learn from each other and support each other.

But it’s hard to find girlfriends like that.

When you know the 8 most important skills to make friends as adult, you can step out and start finding a few gal pals to grab coffee with, vent about being stuck at home, and sigh with relief when someone understand and laughs at your jokes.

You can find help for making friends as an adult in my “Making Friends” series, starting here: Want To Make Friends? Here’s The Good And Bad News

6- Heal The Inside Before Focusing On Outward Appearance To Gain Confidence

Beauty starts on the inside.

In my 20s, I weighed 25lbs over what I felt was a good weight for me, but I couldn’t lose the weight. I felt insecure, had a lot of external stress on top of it all, and I was using food to make me feel better.

When I started focusing on getting healthy in my mind and spirit, I gained confidence and learned to process my emotions and stress in a healthy way. My struggle with appearance diminished and I was able to lose weight easily because I was getting healthy on the inside.

Health and beauty on the outside is a direct expression of what’s going on inside. So start there!

Health and beauty on the outside is a direct expression of what's going on inside. So start there, rather than focusing on the external, for greater confidence as a mom. #newmom #healthymom Share on X

7- Learn Your True Identity And Cling To It

Get your true identity from what God says about you and not from what your friends, enemies, family or even your spouse say about you.

Even Jesus, when he was praised by the crowd, did not entrust himself to them. People may say good or bad things about us. We need to learn our true identity from God and let what HE thinks of us guide our decisions and our confidence who we are.

8- Parent In Line With Your Personality

What do you like? What are you good at? Are you a planner or more spontaneous?

The more we get to know ourselves and what makes our days go smoothly, the more we can parent from our comfort zone. This goes back to stopping comparison too.

Don’t do what someone else is doing just because they’re doing it. Figure out if it actually works for you and your family.

Are you an infant sleep schedule person, or more of a free spirit?

From there you of course can start to watch your child grow and help them follow their own passions and identity, but you have to know your own first.

9- Take Time To Learn And Grow Your Mom Skills

None of us know what we’re doing as moms at first.

Some moms may have more experience with kids based on their childhood, career, or interests, but I’m pretty sure we’re still all that wide-eyed new mom bringing our newborn home and thinking “It’s on me to keep this baby alive now?!”

It’s important to keep learning and growing as moms. Every stage brings new challenges and we need tools to deal with each one. Keep learning and your confidence will grow through every stage.

You can use my Ultimate Newborn Sleep Guide to grow your mom skills to help baby sleep through the night– oh what an amazing thought!

10- Gain Confidence By Remembering That YOU Are Unique And Created For A Reason

You are ENOUGH.

You don’t have to be like anyone else. God created you to be YOU, and He wants to bring you joy and Himself glory through you being your true self.

And being “your best self” doesn’t mean being perfect.

It means that we hold on to who He made us to be– our gifts, talents, personality, life situation– and allow Him to work through us there and lead us further into what He is calling us to do as moms and as individuals.

A wise mentor of mine once told me, “The grass glorifies God because it’s green.” I love this because sometimes when we wish we were “more,” we can rest in the fact that by being who God made us to be, we are glorifying Him.

That is truly something we can rejoice and gain confidence in!

You Know What To Do

So when you feel like you don’t measure up or you’re failing your family somehow, look over this list again.

Let it remind you that you are doing your very best, and that’s enough.

You can stand tall even when you made a mistake, because your identity doesn’t come from your ability to change a diaper, nurse, and pay insurance bills all at the same time.

It comes from who God made you to be. And when you live within that framework, you’ll know how to parent your kiddo with confidence.

If you want to learn how to focus on nuggets of truth and positivity instead of the raging trolls and Debbie Downers you come across, start the “5 Days to Positive Thinking” email challenge. Click this button to learn more: