It’s easy to focus on the negative and seemly impossible when going through challenges. Hear how Heather got through daily infertility struggles.
Because we got married in our early 30s, we wanted to have kids soonish after tying the knot.
But we didn’t have the “he just looked at me across the room and I’m pregnant” genes. We had to get help from at least 6 doctors in 4 different states.
(Getting help from so many doctors wasn’t because my system was THAT messed up. My husband is in the military so we moved a bunch of times during the process. And no, moving a ton, starting over with doctors, new insurance regions and referrals really doesn’t help with infertility struggles getting pregnant, in case you were wondering.)
Regardless, it was a very emotionally up and down time for us. We also experienced three miscarriages, which I talk about here.
I came across a story I wrote a while back about my infertility struggles, and I thought I’d post it here. It’s a good reminder- even for me- of how to get through daily challenges.
Blogging is fun that way. I get to put into practice my own advice from years ago, because I forget all the gems I learn. (That must be because I’m old now)
Hope you enjoy!
A Snapshot Of A Day With Infertility Struggles
On the way to the appointment last Tuesday, I was discouraged about our options. We have had a few failed IUIs over the summer, and then there was the miscarriage in April.
We are worn out on doing IUIs but we don’t feel ready to jump into IVF. It’s a big step and for some reason we don’t feel like we’re quite there yet.
But on the way to the appointment, IVF felt like the only option. So I didn’t feel very hopeful.
So I put on some worship music to try to encourage my spirits and focus on the Lord. One song in particular really hit me. The main phrase was “It’s all about You” with the “you” being God.
It’s All About God
And that hit me because no matter our desires, circumstances, hopes, dreams, failures… lifting God up and giving Him glory is what life is all about.
Because He deserves it, regardless of my circumstances.
I realized that if I don’t have any more children, or if we adopt, or if we have more children with IVF or naturally or whatever, I may not understand the reason. But, God will bring about His glory and our good in our situation, through our fertility journey.
Even if I don’t get what I want… even if my hopes and dreams aren’t realized… God is bringing about his own glory in my life.
And that’s what I want, in my spirit. (I don’t always feel that way of course).
Ultimately He’s in charge of the results. I can put my hope in Him regardless of how things turn out.
The Appointment And Infertility Treatment Plan
After hearing that song and having my little “epiphany,” I entered the appointment with a much more encouraged outlook than when I started driving to the clinic.
I had a procedure called a Hydro (saline) sonogram, which means they insert saline into the uterus and then do an ultrasound. The purpose is to check out the lining of the uterus and make sure it is healthy with no scar tissue, etc.
Sonogram Test Results
The results were great— my uterus is healthy (never thought I’d type that in a blog post!) and the doctor even said it’s “gorgeous” which I thought was hilarious. Who knew my uterus was so amazing?!
On top of the good news, I also got to speak to the doctor at length for a consultation.
I thought I would have to schedule another appointment to see her on another day. It was a huge relief!
During our chat, the doctor suggested injectables (drugs requiring you give yourself an injection) without doing IVF. I had heard of this before — in fact I did them one cycle in Florida a few years ago. I’ve had friends who used this treatment as well, so I’m not sure why I never thought of them as an option for us now.
But as soon as she suggested it, I knew I wanted to do it.
So the treatment would be using the same drugs as for IVF, but not overstimulating the eggs as they would in IVF. They carefully watch how the eggs are growing through ultrasound. I don’t want to become the next Kate + 8.
(I think if I have octuplets, thought, this whole blog is going to change quite a bit hahaha!)
So I left that appointment feeling hopeful and excited again!
It’s amazing how I could feel so down and hopeless one moment, then two hours later feel on top of the world!
Emotions can work us over. They can leave us jittery like too much caffeine or deflated like a worn out balloon… all within a few minutes time.
It’s important to process our emotions, but when they are overwhelming, we need to change our focus. We need to turn our attention to the truth of who God is and that He can do the impossible.
When we feel like our emotions are strapped into the IncrediCoaster, we have to focus our thoughts to something outside our feelings: God and His ability to bring about His glory and our good in our situation.