How do I trust God with my family’s safety? Heather dives into this question, revealing surprising answers that help her deal with fear whenever it pops up.
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When I heard the news that Kobe Bryant had passed away, I was standing in a Nike outlet check out line. A man came into the store with a shocked look on his face, and spoke to another man ahead of me in line.
“Kobe died.” He said, and those of us around didn’t answer as we processed. “Kobe Bryant? You know, Kobe? He died,” the man continued, seeing disbelief on our faces.
I didn’t love or hate Kobe. I don’t watch the NBA. But I did play basketball in high school and college and I coached hoops for several years. You can’t be around the sport without hearing of and at least appreciating Kobe’s incredible skills.
And, in the wake of his passing, I learned about his contribution to his community and to youth sports, which paints a bigger, better picture of him as a whole.
Regardless, his death caused me to stop and think quite a bit. His passing was no more tragic than any “regular” person passing away. Knowing that his daughter had also been in that helicopter, along with several other families, increased the scope of the tragedy. But the far-reaching impact of this situation stood out, because unlike with a non-celebrity death, his passing touched millions.
Whatever you thought (or didn’t think) of Kobe, thinking of his wife and kids left with the aftermath raises a scary issue for moms:
How do I trust God that my family members won’t meet the same fate?
I’ve been pondering this topic for a while now, because several months ago I learned of the death that hit much closer to home. A graduate of my high school, from the class behind mine, died in a tragic farming accident.
I didn’t know him well, but I’m connected to many who did, so I watched, prayed and grieved from afar on behalf of those who felt the loss deeply.
He was a young husband and father of three, beloved by his family and community. Though we weren’t in the same grade or circles, it was a small school with an “everyone knows everyone” kind of feeling.
And, I realized that in the wake of such a tragedy, it’s easy for fear of the future to take hold.
The question is real:
No one expects it to happen to them. How do I know it won’t happen to me?
We send our kids off to school or daycare, leave them with babysitters and head off for a few minutes of grown-up living. We kiss our spouses goodbye as we part ways for our daily responsibilities.
What assurance do we have that they will come back safely?
The reality is that we don’t have any such assurance. And it because of that, it’s easy to live in fear.
So How Do I Trust God With My Family’s Safety?
My husband is a Navy Pilot, an inherently a dangerous job. Whether he’s on deployment or heading off to train, I’ve had to regularly face my fears for his safety.
Sometimes the anxious thought blindsided me that he might not come home… that our girls might grow up without a daddy… that two men in uniform could show up at my door and deliver the worst news possible.
I have a mentor who’s like a second mom to me. She’s a wife to a former State Policeman and SWAT team member. Her two sons are former Marines and one is now a police officer.
I asked her one day, “How do you deal with the fear of what could happen to someone you love?”
She told me this:
“When you’re doing what God has called you to do, whether it be a military career, police work, staying home with the kids, etc… you’re in the safest place you can be, right where you are. Even in a war zone or just driving down the street, nothing can touch you or the ones you love unless God allows it. He’s not “safer” here at home. He’s as safe as he can possibly be, right in the center of God’s will.”
Hearing that was such a comfort to me. It allowed me to release my fears into God’s hands and trust that hubby’s safety is God’s concern.
How Do I Trust God When Things Get Bad?
Even when we put our loved ones in God’s hands, it’s easy to mistakenly believe that just because God is in control, that nothing bad will ever happen to them.
We try with good intention to trust God fully, when something bad happens, it’s suddenly God’s fault or we start to doubt God’s love for us.
In learning to trust God (and I’m still learning this every day), I had to get to the point of realizing that EVEN IF something bad did happen to my husband or kids, that I could trust Gods goodness, that He was still in control.
Our peace can’t rest in the false idea that nothing bad will ever happen.
Our peace comes from the fact that EVEN IF something bad happens, God is with us, He will help us, and He can redeem any situation.
One book that really helped me with this concept was God Has A Name by John Mark Comer.
The book is about who God really is, and goes into detail about His character. Comer shares that God hasn’t fully taken control over evil in this world yet, so bad things do happen.
It doesn’t mean that God isn’t all-powerful, but He’s choosing to allow evil for a time. There are other (evil) wills at play and they can wreak havoc on our lives. However God can be bring beauty from the ashes of any situation.
What If Trials In This Life Are Your Mercies In Disguise?
I heard a song on the radio yesterday while sitting in the Target parking lot. I immediately flashed back to when we had our third miscarriage. This song gave me perspective back during that difficult time.
It’s funny how songs can do that– take you back to the emotions and memories of the past.
So as the tears sprang to my eyes, and my little one happily crunched on a snack in her car seat, I listened to the words of the song “Blessings” by Laura Story.
In it, she talks about how sometimes our healing comes through tears. And often our most precious blessings come through our darkest days, our greatest struggles.
So when we hear shocking news, or worry pops into our minds that something bad might happen to our kids or husband, we can turn to the Lord.
We can trust Him and give Him back our fears, day after day, because we know that no matter what we may face, He will be there and He will walk us through it.
It’s a mystery, but even when God allows us to go through pain, He can redeem all things and bring beautiful blessings.
If I hadn’t miscarried that third time, I never would have had my second rainbow baby, our middle child who brings us so much joy. Her arrival doesn’t mean our loss wasn’t tragic and sad. But I can’t deny the beauty and blessing that resulted from the loss.
Laura Story, “Blessings” music video
I’ll leave you with the music video (below) and the final lyrics of the song (you can get the full lyrics here):
“What if my greatest disappointmentsLaura Story, “Blessings”
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise”