As a mom, it’s hard to see children as a blessing when they’re driving us nuts. View these 12 strategies to help see our kids as the gifts they are.
It’s 1:25pm?! It feels like 5:00p. How the heck am I going to survive the next 3.5 hours?
Dread filled my stomach thinking of 3.5 hours of kid craziness. 3.5 hours until Daddy gets home and I can sneak chocolate from the cupboard and escape to the master bedroom without any littles tagging along… for at least a couple minutes.
Sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to get through the day, just trying to survive my kids at this age (5, 22 months, and 7 months).
I know I’m not the only one because so many moms have expressed the same thing to me.
But is that what this phase of life has to be? Just survival?
After dropping my oldest at a VBS, another parent bemoaned having to find things for their kids to do in the summer. “Why don’t they do school all year round so parents don’t have to look for camps to send their kid off to?” she complained.
It’s hard to spend a full day with young kiddos, I get that. I used to dread it and feel completely overwhelmed by it.
My perspective was that I had so much to do and the kids made it
so hard impossible to accomplish anything!
The Bible says that children are a blessing
… but in this season of life, I’ve been skeptical of that.
Of course, I love my children. They are the cutest kids in the world, actually. (no offense but it’s true.) They are hilarious. Funny. Loving and caring. I could go on, especially since two are napping and one isn’t here.
BTW, they’re so cute when they sleep, I always want to wake them up and cuddle them.
But I don’t, obviously.
Because when they’re awake my feelings about them change to “how long until they’re sleeping?”
Ok, so the Bible thing. What does that even mean? I can’t see children as a blessing now, in my sleep-deprived, can’t get anything done, no me-time state. Can I?
A shift happened for me when I started praying that God would help me see my children as a blessing.
A gift, even in the constant cleaning, sleepless nights, baby screaming in my ear and I can’t hear a thing moments. In the times when I’m just getting through the day while they’re going nuts.
And I’ve figured something out.
When God says something, and we ask Him to help us believe it, see it and experience it, guess what?
He makes it happen
Because I can’t make myself see my kids as a gift at their worst. At their best, it’s easy. When things get hard, I don’t have the strength to make that happen on my own.
In swoops the Holy Spirit to remind me.
When the frustrations rise up, the anger or hurt, the disappointment… all the negative emotions that come with parenting, His voice gently speaks, “I am with you.”
He reminds me, “Heather, I have grace with you when you blow it. They’re young, they aren’t perfect. They need my grace too.”
I feel all the emotions, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think, “oh they are such a GIFT!” and have a swell of love for them during those moments. Nope.
But when I can take a moment to breathe, when my oldest is in her room in a time out and I can say, “Lord, what now?” … He’s helping me see things through His eyes, to behold the beauty of the Lord in the tough moments (Psalm 27:4).
12 Ways To See Children As A Blessing From The Lord
Ask the Lord to remind you of these things just like I have been…. that His Word is true, even when we don’t feel like it is.
Lord, help me to remember…
1- To keep my perspective
The cliche’ “time flies” is true. It won’t always be like this.
2- To focus on the positive
When it’s really tough, try to remember the funny things and how cute they are. My husband deployed 2 weeks after my oldest was born. I used to say, “good thing she’s cute!” during the long nights of solo-parenting a newborn. I also had a friend who dressed her young kids super cute when they were being pills. It helped her see the good in them!
3- To look my kids in the eyes
See the sparkle, the joy, excitement. When they’re upset, see the passion, determination, fire. It will take them places when they learn to channel it.
4- They’re unique
They’re unique, special little human people. They are treasures, not “in the way.”
5- Emotions change
Give yourself a few hours to get over your frustration or annoyance. Believing that kids are a blessing does NOT mean you will feel like they are 100% of the time.
6- To think long term
The investment you make today will, in all likelihood, pay off down the road. We don’t have guarantees, but to see children as a blessing changes the way we respond to them. That, in turn, builds something into their hearts that is irreplaceable.
7- I am launching them into the world
One melt-down or difficult phase doesn’t ruin them. It’s an opportunity for you to shape them. The Bible says the children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior (see below). The way you raise your kids will impact the world. It’s a huge responsibility but a blessing too.
8- How I felt before I had kids
How bad did you want to get pregnant or adopt? Did you struggle to get pregnant? Were you not ready but were blessed with a surprise? If you weren’t ready, you might need to process that further in order to see your kids as a true blessing. We struggled with infertility and miscarriage. Sometimes that seems long ago, but at times it’s important for me to go back and revisit those painful feelings to regain an appreciation for the crazy I experience now. We wanted kids soooo bad, and the challenges we face now are just a part of life with kids.
9- They help me grow
This is hilarious, but my oldest just got in trouble while I’m in process of writing this list. My frustration is flaring up! Hmmm. Kids are a blessing because they teach me patience and how to turn to God for wisdom. They bring out my weaknesses and show me how I need to grow in Christlikeness. They also drive me to sneak chocolate from the cupboard…
10- Children teach us to love and give.
“It is more blessed to give than receive.” (Acts 20:35) Love is laying our lives down for others. And in return, we are blessed.
11- The hard things in life bring the blessings
I love this quote, and actually the whole article it came from: “Therefore, what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire but by what bad feelings we’re willing and able to sustain to get us to those good feelings.”
12- To allow You (God) to help my thoughts align with the truth of Your word
Children are blessings because God says they are. Allow Him to help you believe it, feel it, and live like it.
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”
If you’d like to change your mindset into one more focused on truth and not negativity, check out my “5 Days To Positive Thinking” Email Challenge below!